Grasping at Straws
by RetardedUnicorn
Summary: Kirk has bonded with Spock Prime accidentally and unknowingly. Spock Prime has kept this his precious secret until the day of his death. At that moment, Jim's life was torn down by its foundation.    Spock is the only one who can save him now.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Okay, this is something I have wanted to do for a long time and I've finally done it. I'll be continuing with Of Kings and Queens but I feel like I am going to get much more enjoyment and satisfaction out of this one. The idea has probably already done but I like how it's coming alone. Hopefully you guys all like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. This is a work of fiction from which no profit shall be made.

Spock was finishing up his readings for the section of space the crew of the USS Enterprise found themselves mapping. There was hardly anything worthy of note, and didn't even seem to contain a single habitable planet. "Captain, I have finished my readings for this section. With your review they will be sent to Command at the earliest convenience." The rest of the crew wasn't finished with their work yet, however Spock thought it best to inform his Captain of his own progress, not that he suffered from any boredom.

For this exact reason, his curiosity was piqued when he realized that no acknowledgement came from his superior. Spock spun about in his chair. "Captain?" The word was hardly out of his mouth before his body went rigid. Tears were streaming down Kirk's face, and he was still as stone as he stared off into nothingness. "Do you require assistance, sir?" he said slightly louder, otherwise clueless as to what he was meant to do in such a situation.

Something seemed to break inside the trembling captain, bringing him out of his trance. He sobbed softly before letting out an agonized scream and crumpling to the floor, where he curled in on himself and began to weep uncontrollably. By now, the crew's attention had been drawn toward the scene and helmsman Sulu took it upon himself to aid his captain, "Sir, perhaps you should take a break…" the pilot reached out to place a comforting hand on the man's shoulder but was soon shoved back into the console by an emotional James Kirk.

Jim screamed again. "I want Spock!" His voice was hoarse and riddled with heartache. Every soul in the room now turned their attention to the ship's first officer, who looked equally as confused as they did. He decided it best to try and subdue his distraught captain. However, as soon as he came close enough, Kirk latched onto him as if he was his only lifeline in a hurricane and attempted, desperately, to drag him to the floor.

"Captain! This is not-" He could not finish, as Jim's hand had reached his face and the pain barraged his senses like wildfire. He used his superior strength to force Kirk off of him, further upsetting the captain. Jim wailed Spock's name hysterically and Spock attempted to come to grips with what had just occurred. He observed that McCoy had entered through the bridge doors but he could not hear what he said, nor could he understand why he was there. There was just pain; then blackness.

Spock awoke to glaring white lights and he squinted as his eyes readjusted. Sickbay, his brain ground out as it awakened from its anesthesia induced slumber. Lifting himself up onto his elbows quickly confirmed his assessment, or as quickly as one could with their vision half blurred. Suddenly, Spock was aware of a presence next to him and he turned to spot none other than James T. Kirk, sleeping fitfully in a biobed.

The previous scene on the bridge sent Spock's mind reeling to recall just what had happened. It was hard to recall anything but the _pain_, the pure mental anguish unlike anything he'd ever seen before. He could think of no reason to suspect what might have caused the breakdown, unless…No, it was impossible. Spock hastily ruled out that option. But then what could it be?

The first officer did not have long to ponder this, as a certain old country doctor interrupted his musings, "Oh good. You're up." McCoy drawled in a non-comittal tone, marking something on a dataPADD he was carrying, "That was quite the number you pulled on ol' Jim-bo here. Luckily Ensign Cobbler was there to catch him and make sure he didn't injure himself."

Spock felt a twinge of guilt at this revelation, he had no intention of hurting his captain, but he hadn't had control of his actions at that moment. It was simply reflexive. He speedily came to the conclusion that he was not to blame and filed it away for future meditation. "I regret the action that took place, however I was not quite in control at that time." He stated out loud.

McCoy pulled up a chair at Spock's bedside and looked at him enigmatically for a few moments before checking to see if Jim was still slumbering, then he spoke again, "Is there anything going on that I should know about? You know darn well that I'm Jim's friend as well as his doctor, and if anyone wants to get to the bottom of this it's me." He stopped for a moment to scratch his head, seemingly in thought. Spock thought looked, for the first time in a long time, vulnerable. "He kept calling out your name until the very moment the sedative kicked in and he finally went under. If there's something he's telling you that he's not telling me, then I think it's in the best interest of all parties involved if you just let me know."

Spock thought for a moment or two, and the doctor glanced nervously at Jim's bedside again, "I assure you doctor, I have had no extra-professional conversation with the captain. Neither have I observed any trace of abnormal behavior patterns." McCoy looked stricken, and Spock decided he'd try his best to diffuse the situation, "Though, I have observed James Tiberius Kirk to be unpredictable at even the best of times.

Leonard McCoy smiled goodheartedly and gave a small chuckle, "Humor, from a Vulcan. I was gonna send you back to your quarters today but you seem to have hit your head a little hard. Maybe it'd be best if you just stayed he-"

"That will be unnecessary . I'm sure we do not need a repeat of our last situation." Spock interrupted.

"Very well then , let's get you ready for discharge. You know the drill." He said with a knowing smile, even ulcans didn't like hospitals it would seem. He rose from his seat to puzzle over Jim's readings for a few more minutes as Spock got himself up and walked off the dizziness inspired by Starfleet issue narcotic.

**Chapter End Notes:**

So there it is! Chapter one! You have no idea how great it feels to finally have this done. I'm not so sure about the title but what the hey, it works for now. Let me know what you think, and thank you all for reading this far.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Chapter Notes:**

Hehe, hey guys…Sorry about the monumental wait. I got sucked into other fandoms and I just didn't know what to do with this story. I got a very nice review from a fan recently and I figured, what the hey, I may as well practice writing and get into it now before Summer starts. I don't much like this chapter but I'm going to give you this hot off the press cause I know if I look at it later I'll just end up hating it. I know a lot of you have been suggesting I get a beta, and I had a friend who used to look over my stories and assignments at a point, but we're no longer on good terms. So I'm basically on my own for this now. I've done my best to work alongside spellchecker but it is 2AM and I feel like shit so take it for what it is. Needless to say I hope you guys enjoy it and I thank you all for sticking with it despite my horrible inconsistency.

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. This is a work of fiction from which no profit shall be made.

Almost immediately upon entering his quarters, Spock's commlink sounded. He walked over to the wall and pressed the button that would allow him to speak, "Spock here." Then the audio started up. McCoy was frantic and an awful muffled screeching came from somewhere in the background.

"Spock, you gotta get down here quick," the doctor panted, "The boy went berserk a few minutes after you left."

"McCoy I'm not sure how I can be of service in this situation."

"God damn it ya pointy eared bastard! He's hollerin' for _you! _Now get your green ass down here before I haul it myself."

"Understood." His voice fell on deaf ears, the transmission had already been cut.

The Vulcan didn't have to go very far until he heard Jim's pained screams. It was horrific, how he could hear them even from here was a marvel. He walked with renewed haste and an unfamiliar weight of worry in the pit of his stomach. When he opened the sickbay doors he was nearly deafened by the sound of Jim's anguished scream of Spock's name.

The captain was surrounded by a swath of medical professionals scrambling fiercely to get all sorts of IV drips going, checking vitals or restraining the hysterical patient. Spock could see Jim was red and sweaty under the bright sickbay lights, sobbing and battling for all he was worth against the titanium restraints pinning his limbs. When Spock walked in to sickbay, ears covered painfully, Jim stopped. His head whipped to the side in a motion that looked almost certainly painful and his pupils blew wide so as to block out the usual piercing blue.

James Kirk didn't blink as Spock moved tentatively closer. Then he gave a harsh jerk, straining harder than ever before, red gushing from his chafed wrists and ankles against the metal bonds keeping him from Spock. The doctors attempted to push him down again but he screamed a very forceful, "Don't. Touch. Me!" Before turning back to Spock, wide grin lighting up his haggard features. "Spock. You came back. I thought…I thought you were dead. I-I couldn't feel you anymore." This only served to puzzle the young Vulcan further.

He approached the bed with caution, wary to keep from touching the captain for fear of a repeat of the incident on the bridge. "Felt me? Please clarify, captain."

Jim giggled in a manner highly uncharacteristic of himself, "In my mind silly. You would talk to me." His face fell and turned away, "and then it was gone. Like…Snapping," he turned back, "But now you're here. I can hear you again, only like a whisper."

"And what exactly did this…voice say to you?" He was not sure he wanted to know the answer.

"That you loved me of course. That you'd keep me safe. When I was stressed or upset you would recall old times. Except… I don't remember those times. It didn't really matter though. Would you touch me again?"

"I beg your pardon?" The Vulcan asked indignantly. This could not be his captain. Some sort of trickery for sure.

"Like you did on Delta Vega and how I did on the bridge yesterday, or last week. I can't really remember."

"Certainly not. Doctor, I believe we have matters to discuss. May we retire to your office?" The Vulcan seemed impatient now, eager to leave the situation.

"Please don't leave." He whined, but his efforts seemed to no avail, the Vulcan as stony as ever.

The good doctor frowned at the First Officer before kneeling down to Jim's side and holding his hand gently. "Look Jimbo, he'll only be gone a few minutes. I promise I'll bring him right back." Jim clenched McCoy's hand tightly, seemingly deliberating over whether to agree or not. Eventually he nodded and released his iron grip.

"_Right back_, okay?"

"Sure thing, Jimmy. Sure thing." He smiled sadly before motioning harshly for the Vulcan to join him in his office.

Once the door was locked securely McCoy spun on the Vulcan, "What in the fresh hell is your problem!"

"Doctor, I would like to point out that I was not the one wailing hysterically, restrained to a biobed." Spock retorted, raising an eyebrow.

"Well you god damn will be soon if I have a thing or two to do with it! That boy's hurting and after you've been giving him the cold shoulder the past three years of this mission, the least you can do is show a little compassion!"

"I am a Vulcan. I am afraid I'm incapable of such an act."

McCoy was fuming, "Don't even try that bullshit with me. If you're too good for your emotions, then try this one on for size: respect for your senior officer. Jim has been demoralized enough today without you adding your little smidgen of disdain to the pot."

Spock levelled his breathing, "Perhaps it would be beneficial to the captain if we worked toward a solution."

McCoy rubbed his face in consternation, "Fine. Let's start with that bit about him talking to you in his head. What was that about?"

Spock was silent for a long moment. He thought it couldn't have been. Indeed, he was almost sure it was impossible. However denying wouldn't help their case, he decided to come out with his theory. After all, once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains must be truth. "It would seem, that the captain has entered a Vulcan mating bond. Though I can't be certain. The conditions of how this might have occurred remain elusive to me."

"And this uh, bond? What makes you think he might have it?"

"When bonded, Vulcans can communicate telepathically. Jim mentioned someone speaking to him,"

"You,"

"Yes, well, whomever it was, I was able to sense their…lack of presence I suppose; when James melded with me on the bridge. I have never experienced it before however I could sense the pain as if it were my own. From what I have read, whoever has initiated the bond has severed it somehow. In his state, I supposed his mind simply reached out to mine."

"Then, if some Vulcan decided to get hitched with little Jimmy over there, why's he so fixed on you? Why hasn't he ever mentioned them before?" The doctor inquired, seeming equally, if not more puzzled than Spock.

"I'm afraid, doctor, I have no idea."

**Chapter End Notes: **

There it is, a ton of dialog which I don't usually write. Tips are appreciated of course. Thanks for reading.


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